Not Feeling the Love

I'm not feeling the love for teaching at the moment.

Teaching is what I do to support my family and to support my writing.  There was a time I considered it my calling - a time when I was on fire for teaching, wanted to teach, wanted it more than almost anything other than becoming a published writer.  But that's not where I am in my heart right now.

I still want to teach.  Why?  Well, writing is a funny way to make a living, and precious few people CAN make a living at writing.  Hence, a second job is necessary, and teaching is better than the alternative... a soulless office job, pushing papers around for some company nobody's ever heard of, jumping to some manager's every whim.  Besides, if I have to work around people who act like children, as too many adults I've encountered do, I'm darn well going to work around actual children.  At least they're acting their age.

But that's a far cry from having a fire in my belly for teaching, as I once did. 

It makes me very, very sad to know that I don't love teaching right now.  I don't want to become one of those awful deadwood teachers, marking time until retirement, taking up space, burned out long ago and refusing to leave.  I truly don't.  But I'm not sure how to rekindle my fire when I've lost my spark.